Chapiter 13
After two and half months in America and more especially in a Dominican/American family I have seen lot of differences about French culture, Dominican culture and American culture. Even if will be interesting to see them in detail, in this paper I am going to talk about differences between French culture and American culture. I mean, what are differences in term of values, lifestyle and behaviour? How do people treat me when I ask for help, directions, go into stores, and dine in restaurants? Lot of great and bad experiences in New York City, that make my last university exchange an incredible experience.
Let’s structure this paper in different categories. Since I am in America I have been shocked by different things as: teacher-student relations, body language, meals / bread, brands / sales / advertising, dogs, majority and food. I am going to explain them with examples, moments that I lived.
Teacher-student relations
When I went to classes with my friends in Lille (France), people don’t really make personal connections with professors. Also, everything is much more formal. There’s a certain etiquette to writing an email to a professor. You have to start with “Chère Madame/Monsieur le Professeur” (= dear professor) and end with “bien à vous, merci” (= kind regards, thank you). Professors generally use last names and don’t make jokes. About curses, they are formal too, students discover topic in class by doing exercises and in writing the lesson on their computer.
So when I discovered how curses are here … I was so surprised! It is totally the opposite of France here in New York.
Firstly we receive the lesson and all materials that we will need to understand the lesson by mail. That allow us to read and understand the lesson before class and to spend the time in class (not to discover the topic) to discuss about it thanks to video (mostly TEDx) and some group projects. Secondly, Professor here like to interact with students, that make the class more dynamic and interesting. They are closer than French professors by making jokes and telling us their secrets, who they are, all about their life. That allow to create a strong relation of trust.
Body language
Since I am in New York I have seen many body language differences. In my family for example when we are going to eat, they put their hands on their thighs whereas in France we put our hands on the table. Even if that mean nothing in America, to hide our hand in France is a lack of respect. The same to say “everything is ok or it’s so good”, here American people will form a circle joining his thumb and index but in France this gesture means “zero which means it is bad”. I remember the first time I cooked a dinner for my American friends and I asked at the end if it was good. They did this gesture and I was a little bit disappointing so I asked the meaning of this in America and after the explanation I was feeling better.
Another difference is about how to say hello, the first time I saw my American family I was a little bit shocked because when they saw me they did a huge hug and give me a big slap on my back. That was so strange for me because in France, even if we do “la bise”, when we don’t know very well someone we just check hand.
Another difference is about how people interact with each other. I mean, in France we are respectful so we say hello when we enter somewhere and goodbye when we leave. But in America people are open to each other. I have many examples that show that it’s easier to begin conversation here than in France.
For example, the typical example that show that American people are easier open to each other’s it is on subway or elevators. People in America talk about anything and like to compliment you about the color of your hair, the dress that you wear or about where you are from (due to our accent) this often appears in the elevator.
The second example is in subway. I remember a funny moment where everybody was laughing and taking picture. This funny appeared when a guy came in the subway with a chair. He sat on it when at the next stop another guy came with a chair too! They did not know each other but they started to talk about their life and where they bought their chair. They spoke loudly when suddenly someone decided to take a selfie with them just to have a memory of this moment. I found that so cute and this is the spirit of America for me. Because this scene is impossible to see in France. People are too closed and hate to talk about their life with strangers like that.
The most important body language difference that I saw, is about interaction between people. For example, if you are lost it is better to ask direction in New Yok than in Paris. Indeed, people in America are friendly. I remember that one time I was lost at the airport, seeking for the subway and an American came to me and asked me if I needed some helps and he accompanied me to the right direction (he spent time for me!). What a surprise for me! In France if you need help I’s better to use cell-phone, map or going to information desk. Indeed, people in France don’t want to spend time for another person if they don’t know you and sometimes they can give you a false information, direction just to don’t be annoying with tourist and to be left alone.
Brands / sales / advertising
America is more than a country it’s a brand and nobody will say the contrary. Everything in America is done to make money. Sometimes in good or bad way. For example, as French and European who live in America as a student I was fascinated to see that stores, groceries are opened 24/24h 7/7days. What a cool news? You need butter to make hot cakes on Sunday and your fridge is empty? Don’t worry all groceries are opened on Sunday. To understand why I’m fascinated, it’s important to notice that in France Sunday is day of rest, a time to spend with family, possibly outdoors or at museums so everything is closed. I think that when I will come back in France I will be frustrated to see that stores and groceries are not open on Sunday and that they are also shut earlier than ones in New York.
I remember my first day in Times Square, the perfect place to understand American culture and how they push you to consume. But let’s talk about how advertising, sold are in France. In France / Europe everything is under control. It’s impossible for example to put reduction (sales) after official days whereas in America you have sales all the time. But here sales can be really dangerous. Indeed, during Black Friday people sometimes are trampled and taken to the hospital.
In France advertising are restricted and they have to respect maximal size. In America you have advertising everywhere and it is too much. For example it is impossible to watch episode or movie without to have 4 or 5 advertising (whereas it is forbidden to put advertising in France during a movie on free channels). The size of advertising are so big here, the perfect example is in Times Square where it is impossible to see buildings (advertising are like a second skin for buildings). Everything is good to reach people and push them to buy their products.
Dogs
In America dogs are like kings. No no I am not exaggerating and you are going to understand why. Of course people take care about their pets in France but it is not like in America I was shocked to see that was possible to find meal for dogs in fast-food are restaurants. For example the fast-food shake shack sell “Pooch-ini dog” which is a sundae for dogs.
Even if the maltreatment of animals is punish by the law in France, here it’s worst in America. Indeed, if someone treat badly his dog just with words he can be arrest by police. My flatmate told me that one day she was at the grocery and his dog was crying outside during 5 minutes. When she left the grocery she was shocked to see that police was waiting to reprimand her (after the call of someone). She tell me that sometimes maltreatment of animal is worst that maltreatment of children.
I was also shocked to see that it is possible to find Dogs Park, retire house and date application for dogs. Indeed, owners of dogs use this application to organize meeting, weeding for their pets. For me it is crazy even if in France we love our pets … the worst crazy thing that we do is to buy them clothes. And when we see a dog wearing clothes, we find this really stupid. But here in America, they are proud to buy clothes to their dogs and it is not strange.
Another big difference with France about dogs is that American people take care about their dogs and about what he does. I mean, it is rare to find dog’s poop in the street in America. Owners of dogs pick up their poop when they are walking their dogs. Whereas in France we see everywhere dog’s poop. They don’t take time to pick up poops.
Majority
In France majority is 18 years old for everything. I mean, if you want to drink alcohol / if you want to be married / if you want to drive a car you must have 18 years old. But here in America is so different.
Indeed, if you want to drive a car you must have 16 years old but if you want to enter in a bar or drink alcohol you must have 21 years old. This big gap create conflict and strange situation. For example I am student so I like to go out and chilling with my friends and some beers. But some of my friends are under 21 years old so it is very complicating to do party and they cannot enter with us in bar legally so … they bribe the bar (at least bouncer) or they use fake ID.
Food / Meals / bread
The biggest culture shock is about fresh food. Indeed in America or at least in New York when you buy food to grocery, that expires less faster here than in France. For example if you buy beef or chicken and put it in the fridge in France, you had better eat it within three days or it will go bad, and you will lose money. But not in America, you can keep you meat one week without problem. It’s for that American people are going to the grocery store less frequently than us and buy bigger amounts.
Another big and important difference about food is that here it’s more expensive to buy fresh vegetables or fruits than quick-meal. Indeed, cooking takes more time and patience than in the US, so fresh ingredients are the best and typically least expensive option. For example, its less expensive to go to Wendy’s and buy a 4 for $4 meal (1burger + 1 drink + French fries and sauce + 4 nuggets) than going to the grocery and make a meal. For me, who love make my own food and meal, it is very hard. The only thing that I can cooked and which is not very expensive: it’s to buy some vegetables in conserves, chicken and rice to do tortillas. Of course it’s possible to buy fresh food and make better meal but when you are a student (no money so) it’s very difficult to eat healthy in New York.
I can’t close this section without talking about family time. What I mean by family time? I mean at what time American family eat and with who! Typically in France breakfast and dinner are two important moment for a family because it is a time where we talk about the quality of food that goes on the table, but it’s also important to notice who is around it. A moment when we share our experience, where we talk about our day. But here in America, or at least in New York in my family, it’s totally different. Of course they have some moment together, where they eat together. Generally it is the weekend when they make hot cakes. Otherwise, the others days they act like they don’t care of each other. They eat all the day, I mean in France we just eat 3 times per day generally (Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner) but here they eat small quantity all the day as biscuits, yogurts etc .. So they eat 5 or 6 times and not together.
Ok I talked about family time, fresh food, let’s talk about an important things for a French: Bread in New York. For American people French bread is just “Baguette” but if you walk into a bakery in France, you will see that there are so many more kinds than that! At the beginning I was so sad, was impossible to find a good bread but Americans have something similar “Bagel”. Bagels it is our Baguette, they eat it at any time and with everything but the typical bagel it is with cream cheese.
And to close this section I am going to talk about size of things here. The gap between portion sizes in our two countries is really big. For example the size of soft drink bottles in the US is; 16, 32 and 64 ounces whereas the cans in France are 11 ounces. I remember my first day in a grocery. I was like a child in an attraction park, everything so different and in big quantity even bottle of milk are huge (3 gallons) that was so funny.
There are many cultural differences between France and America. And fortunately! I mean, when we go abroad-it is because we are looking for adventure. We seek to discover new places, landscapes, mentality, and to be open minded. Past two months in New York were more rewarding whether a professional point of view with the courses, than a personal point of view. I discovered so much in the space of two months and it is not finished yet. I discovered things that appeared to me strange at first (especially about food) but with time have been well received (impossible to make a bagel (or hotdog) without liquid cheddar for example).
